The Day I Thought I Was a Hero (But Was Actually Just Creepy)

We’ve all had those moments where we think we’ve spotted a friend in public and decide to surprise them. 

Usually, it ends in a quick "Oh, sorry!" This was not one of those times.

I was at a crowded airport, exhausted after a long flight. 

Through the sea of travelers, I saw him: my old college roommate, Dave. 

He had the same messy hair, the same vintage denim jacket, and the same distinctive "clumsy" walk.

Dave was a notorious prankster, so I decided it was time for some payback.

I didn't just walk up to him. I committed. 

I spent five minutes stealthily navigating through the terminal, hiding behind pillars and luggage carts like a low-budget James Bond. 

I finally got directly behind him as he reached the baggage claim.

I leaned in close, put my arm around his shoulder, and whispered loudly in his ear: "I’ve been tracking you for three states, Dave. Give me the briefcase and nobody gets hurt."

The man froze. He didn't laugh. He slowly turned his head, and I realized two things instantly:

 

1) This was not Dave.

 

2) This man was at least 20 years older than Dave and looked significantly more terrified.

He stared at me, trembling, and handed me a small bag of duty-free chocolates. "I don't have a briefcase," he whispered. "Please just take the Lindt truffles and leave me alone."

I had to spend the next three minutes explaining to a very confused stranger that I wasn't an international hitman, just an idiot who missed his friend. 

I ended up buying him a coffee as an apology, while my actual friend Dave was likely safe at home, hundreds of miles away, not being harassed by a sweaty man at an airport.